We all recognize the different voices inside our minds. There's the voice that encourages you to give your spare change to the homeless person, and then there's the voice that encourages you to order the most fattening meal on the menu. There's also the part of you that watches and listens to these two voices as it sits in the background observing and making a note of what side of the column to place the latest check mark.

After a few years of this game where you listen to one voice or the other you find that there are usually more check marks on one side of the column than the other. If they are on the side that encourages you to be mature, to be kind and take care of yourself, most will consider that as characteristic of someone who has a healthy life style, a healthy balance and healthy self esteem. For those whose check marks line up more on the other side of the column, you probably find yourself pretty unhappy, unhealthy and out of balance.

You may wonder if the voice many tend to listen to is based on factors that are beyond your control. In other words, you may think that you are either pessimistic or optimistic and those elements are what drive your choices. This is only partially true. There is certainly some truth that many are simply built to be open and believing while others are fashioned to be questioning and skeptical. Either one of these traits however, can compromise your ability to make healthy choices. In fact, it is a combination of these traits that makes for the better result especially if you can control when it is wise to use one over the other.

One of the things that challenge you in taking good care of your selves and making choices that leave you happy is that the voice that most call the 'negative' voice, or the small self and it can be very convincing. It is the voice that seduces your senses by telling you how great it will be to "let that imbecile" have it! After all, they've been poking at you for a long time now and deserve it! Sound familiar? It's the voice that tells you that since your partner lied to you, now you have permission to do the same. The small self may be many things, but the one thing for sure, is that it is clever! Some people will be seduced by this voice their entire lives never being the wiser by realizing it's not them that is making decisions, but a spectrum of the thought process- a degree on the thermostat of life's experiences. You- you are the one who hears the voice, you are the one who reacts to the voice, you are the one who gets to choose- but you're not the voice! However, you are not the other voice either- the voice that most say is the positive, or higher self. The positive voice is at the opposite end of the thought process continuum. It is not as appealing to your physical self because it appeals to your spirit self, your higher values, it appeals to your inner heart. Though in many ways neither voice is positive or negative they usually get tagged as positive or negative because ultimately they tend to affect your life by creating more or less contentment and satisfaction.

If you are tired of succumbing to the small self, you must first realize it is not you, and then prepare yourself to build up a resistance to it. This resistance is not meant to suggest fighting or arguing with the voice because this type of combat only gives power to what you are fighting against. You must simply find a way to manage it and you will all find different ways that suit you personally. Those of who use shame or harsh judgments to guilt yourself into resistance however, will fail. The reason you will fail is because this type of thinking does not stem from a loving attitude and degrading or harsh thoughts weaken you on every level. In a post by Dr. Darius Homi Umirgar M.D. (A.M.) titled Thought Releases Chemicals in the Brain, he states that "every time you have a thought, your brain releases chemicals. Every time you have an angry, unkind, sad or cranky thought, you brain releases negative chemical that activate your deep limbic system and make your body feel bad" On the other hand, when you have positive thoughts, kind or hopeful thoughts your body releases chemicals that support your health, your immune system and simply feel good to your body. Many of you aren't taught to love yourself into good behaviors but that's the path that gets you there. Think about it? How can you get to a place that is joyful, health oriented, that supports humanitarian causes if you don't use love to achieve your goal? In other words, how can you become loving to yourself and the world by using judgmental or methods that threaten damnation? These methods would produce fear and every good act; every positive step you made would have its roots in fear. Fear produces adrenalin in your body and other chemicals that damage it. Fear is like a gray cloud that hovers over every act of kindness and eats away at joy.

If you would like to conquer the small voice here are some techniques that you might try until you find your own method:

• Firstly, recognize the voice by paying attention to your "inner talk"

• Secondly, get a feel for how it tends to seduce you, does it appeal to your emotions, your intellect, does it tend to appeal to your senses, your ego or your sense of morality? Perhaps it does all these things, but take note of the way it cons you.

• Don't resist the voice, hear it, and then respond to its lack of reason, i.e., "yes I know I could stay home and relax but going to the gym is better for me than sitting on the couch all night, so thanks but no thanks!"

• Don't take the voice seriously by giving it power. Now that you are aware of it, its days are numbered. Have fun with it and don't fear it.

• Every time you make a choice that benefits your higher good, inwardly celebrate. Give yourself an invisible high five!

The thought process continuum and the spectrum it offers is part of the game of life. You are here to conquer those elements of life that would erode your joy, but you were uniquely fashioned to win. Keep that in mind when you are having a bad day!  Also, find someone who can encourage you on your path, a partner who can listen and who knows about this 'inner conversation' that you all have and the temptations that can be so very seductive.  Having someone who knows about this can help you when you feel a little weak and need a pep talk.  You're a winner, never forget that and never believe the voice that tells you otherwise!

Copyright Donya Ture'

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