Is your spending out of control? If it is, you are not alone, 50% of American's are in debt, and this excludes debts associated with mortgage and car notes. The average household in American has credit card debts that are over 15,000. You may wonder why this is. Well, if you are watching TV for any length of time, you will notice like everyone else, that commercials are geared at seducing you into taking what's in your wallet and giving it to them. And the numbers show that their tactics seem to be working. Here's what bothers me. I know advertisers sit around a board table and discuss how to control us, how to get us to make their agencies and CEO's rich. While at that same time, they care very little for us. I just read an article on Today.com, that floored me. It said that my beloved yogurt, Activia, has the same amount of sugar that a twinkie does! And worse, it contained as much sugar as the recommended daily intake for women, which is 6 teaspoons. How upset was I after all the desserts I've turn down after dinning at a restaurant to find out that I could have just exchanged my yogurt for chocolate mousse? I was so bothered by it I decided never to purchase that brand again. The problem is, I have to do some research, because most brands had the same amount of sugar in them as well. But I thought, how dare they? How dare they pretend to offer me something that I felt good about, in terms of making healthy eating choices, only to find out that I was conned! Well, now you know this fact as well, so this retribution. Actually, it's not, it's information, but that felt good to write.

My point is this, manufacturers are heartless. We all know what recently occurred with General Motors regarding the failure of their airbag deployment which led to the death of 303 people. They knew there was a problem, but making a profit was more sacred to them than our lives. At some point we have to re-evaluate how we look at our money. What does your money mean to you? I am not talking about money in general, I am talking about that money that you work for from 9-5, at a job that probably has its ups and downs. In other words, that money that you put up a lot of crap over. What does it mean to you? Because if you don't value you and your money, neither will the advertisers and manufacturers value you either. In fact, they don't value you, they only value your money. And what's more, they tell you that you are not enough. No, you aren't enough unless you are driving their car, clutching that bag, wearing that makeup or those sneakers that cost more than a round trip to Florida!

The reasons why we shop so much usually has to do with low self-esteem, feeling depressed or just wanting what you want and wanting it now. The first two issues ironically are solved when you realize that you aren't being valued by our manufacturers and so you now choose to re-evaluate what you buy. In other words, you are no longer "sweating them" because, well, they don't give a bleep about you either. But obviously you need clothes and you need food and usually a car to get around. But what are you buying that in a month from now, really won't matter? Chances are, you have closets filled with all your mindless purchases that you either will keep until you throw away, or until next Christmas when you will slyly re-gift them to an unsuspecting soul. Basically, if you are like most people, you are wasteful in how you spend your money and what you spend it on. But think about how gratifying it would be if instead of making mindless purchases which is making someone else rich, you gave that money to you.  What if you paid yourself by putting it in an account, an account that makes a little money for you until you have enough to make more money for you.  Yes, I know, you're saying, it's hard. Well, if you find that it is challenging to manage your spending, here are 10 tips for helping you get control.

• Don't carry your credit card. Instead carry your debit card.

• Only spend money on 3 chosen days. If this is hard, then just go to work and come straight home, no stopping anywhere, and I mean anywhere!

• Get out of the habit of noticing what other people have purchased and feeling envious.  In other words, mind your business, don't even look their way except to say hello.

• Don't be a victim of advertising. Don't allow people who think they are clever to control you, it's demeaning, really!

• Make a goal for how much you would like to have in a savings account and save 10% of your income in the bank every month.

• Put off having children or if you are single take in a roommate and save money. Rough it for 3 years and save as much money as you possibly can. I am talking about saving 6, 7 or 8 thousand dollars or more! I moved back home with my parents against the advice of friends who told me I was going backwards. I lived with them for 1 year to save up and purchase not a house for me, but a rental property. I saved 10,000 in one year, but then I purchased a triplex and made close to 20,000 a year in rent while my friends remained stuck with only their 9-5 income.

• With the money you have saved, find an investment. Buy a vending machine, buy a food cart and let someone rent it from you. Make 'favors' for weddings, take photographs at weddings, do this free until you have a portfolio, then build an inexpensive website, tweet about your work until you get customers, and be patient. Find a cheap home in a low income area, try to find one that can be converted into a duplex. Fix it up and then rent it out to only those who have decent credit.

• Change your view on always needing the most recent gadgets, the most expensive clothes and focus on living from a place of feeling fulfilled instead of feeling empty. Don't be that person that must impress the world to make up for not feeling adequate.

• Look inside your heart and ask yourself, are you a shallow materialistic person? If the answer is yes- then go deeper and make changes.

• You are worthy, beautiful and special just as you are. If you don't believe that-work on it by telling yourself this every morning!

There is nothing wrong with money, it is our love of money that ruins lives. There is nothing wrong with liking nice things, but owing creditors a substantial amount of money before we have a foundation, a home, a hefty bank account, will only lead to poverty. Those who live from paycheck to paycheck end up with chronic stress. Chronic stress leads to symptoms that mimic mental illness. In an article in Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, called 'Poverty, social inequality and mental health' by Vijaya Murali and Femi Oyebode, it is noted that income inequality produces psychosocial stress, which leads to deteriorating health and higher mortality.

So, in this life we have to always seek balance. If you find shopping thrilling, but don't have the same feeling regarding saving your money, there is a lack of balance. If you have lots of "things" but nothing or not much in your bank account, then there is a lack of balance in your life. Feel good about yourself so that your character and intellect are those things that mean the most to you. If the abusive actions of others are keeping you from feeling good about yourself, you have to re-evaluate this. Ask yourself why it is you that feels bad when it was the dysfunction of another that hurt you? In circumstances like this, your aim should be to make that person irrelevant to your life, instead of putting them on a pedestal and taking up the destructive treatment where they left off. These are things you can control and investing in you and your life will take you far. When all is said and done, Warren Buffet, the richest man in the world, suggests you find a way to invest your money so that it can work for you. When you do this, you can enjoy quality time with those you love, partake in healthy pursuits and simply enjoy the fact that you invested in you and it paid off, big time!

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